Jokes | चुटकुले

GenIouS bACHA..:P
1 bacha road pe kuttay ko le ja rha tha
1 Police wala hanste hue
Beta apne bhai ko kahan le ja rhe ho?
Bacha:Police me bharti krwane

ek kanjoos ladki shopkeeper se boli- aisa saboon do jo kam ghise aur nahane k bad chehre par laali la de..... shopkeeper naukar se bola memshab ko 1 eet ka tukda laa do..

GOLU ko 1000 ka note mila, Jispe lika tha, HAPPY NEW YEAR
Usne apni jeb se 1000 ka note nikala us pe SAME TO YOU likha

aur wahi rakh ke chala Gya

Monu - sister mujhe ek bottle khun de do
sister - blood group batao..
Monu - koi v chalega.
Sister - kaise?
Monu - gf ko love letter likhna hai. :)

Teacher : students semester system k fayde batao?

Students : sir fayda to pta nhi, par nuksan bohat hai,











Beizzati saaL me 2 bar ho jati hai. . .

Principal : India ka jhanda sub se pehle kahan lagaya gaya?

Santa (kaafi sochne k baad) :

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DANDE par..;-)

Q:Ye pyar kab hota h?
A: Jab time khrab chal raha ho,
rahu ketu or shani ki dasa kharab ho,
apka mangal kamjor ho,
or bagwan maZe lene k mood me ho..

Aamir’s Mother asks Aamir , ”
Beta ye aajkal Bijli ka Bill itana
zyada kyu aa raha hai????? ”
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Aamir raplies, ” Mai kabhi
batlaata nahi… Par andhere se
darta hu mai Ma !!!

1Baccha Paida Hote Hi Nurse s Bola-MOBILE h Kya?
Nurse:-Hai Par Tu Kya Karega
Baccha: Bas GOD Ko Ek CALL Karni H Ki Mai Pahuch Gaya hu. Meri Wali ko Bhej Do

Santa:Meri Biwi Itna Mazaq karti h kya batau
DOST:Kaise?
Santa:Kal maine Uski Ankhon par hath Rakh K bola'main Kon?'To wo boli 'DODH WALA'..

Ram & Raavan wer in Serious War,
Sdnly Rvn saw a man stndng behind Ram,
Rvn:chal ok bye.
Rm:pr Q?
Rvn:kuch nhi..bs bye
Rm:Arey bta to hua kya?
Rvn:Yar tune chhoti c bat pr RAJNIKANT ko bula liya

TEACHER- AISA SENTENCE BANAO JISME URDU HINDI PUNJABI ENGLISH KA SAHI PRAYOG HUA HO?

SANTA-ISHQ DI GALI WICH NO ENTR

LADY 2 BHIKHARI-
MAINE TUMHE KAHI DEKHA H?
BHIKHARI-KYA MADAM! KAL HI TO fb PE CHATTING KI THI OR AAPNE MERI
PHOTO PE COMMENT DIA THA

LOOKIN SO SWEET.

Wife : Please Bike Tej Na Chalao...
Mujhe Dar Lag Raha Hai...:

Santa : Agar Tujhe Bhi Dar Lag Raha Hai Toh Meri Tarah Ankhein Band Kar Le

Techr: Tum late kyo aaye ho?
Santa: Mumy papa lad rhe the..
Techr: wo lad rhe the to tum kyo late aaye?
santa=mera 1 juta maumy k pass or Dusra papa k paas tha!..

SANTA:Meri BV Bahut Busy Rehti H.
BANTA:Wo Kaise ?
SANTA:Monday to Friday
Ekta Kapoor K Serial Me.
aur
Sat-Sunday Meri Galti NikalneMe.

1-admi ne Fish pakri
jab ghar aaya to dekha
Na gas
Na ata
Na bijli
Na oil
admi wapis Fish ko darya me phenk aaya
Fish upar aai or zor se chilai

*jiyo manmohan sarkar jiyo*

Santa bakriyan chara rha tha.

Banta- in bakriyo ko kaha le ja rhe ho?

S- school le ja rha hu

B-mujhe pagal samjha he kya
aaj to sunday he

SONU;
Aajkal Zyada Bacche
Judwa Q Paida Hote Hai_?

MONU;
Desh'Me Itna AATANKWAAD Badh Gaya Hai Ki

Bacche'Akele AneSe Bahut Darte Hai.'
mk

Minister :- bomb blast me marne waalo ko
5 or zakhmi ko 3 lakh diye jayenge.......
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Santa :- hamarra baap pehle zakhmi Hua,

Fir margaya.....
Hamare 8 lakh bante hai...

Santa: Yaar Sooraj Raat Ko Kyu Nahi Nikalta?
yeda: Kya Pata Nikalta Bhi Ho Andhera Itna Hota Hai Ki Dikhai Kuch Nahi
Deta....

Customer: yeh kya offer hai? TV liya to 10 kerchief free!!!
Salesman: TV serials dekhne ke baad aapki aansoo ponchne ke liye

BHAKT - Bhagwan Mujhe Wardan Do Ki Main Marne Ke Baad Phir Zinda Ho Sakun

BHAGWAN- Ye Mere Bas Ki Baat Nahi Hai Putr, Ye Toh Sirf Ekta Kapoor Hee Kar Sakti Hai

SNTA:Meri biwi buht fuzul khrch h
Jubse shadi hui he roz100, 200 mangti h
BNTA-Wo in peso ka kia krti h?
SANTA:Kya pata Mane kbhi dye he nhi

Ladkiwale-Hame aisa Ladka chahiye jo kuch khata-pita na ho,aur kuch
Galat kam na krta ho
Pandit-Aisa Ladka to apko ICU k Emergency ward me hi Milega

Ladki-parso me tume rakhi bandhne ayi thi, par tumne nhi bandhwai, q?

boy-Agar me tere liye mangalsutra lau to kya bandhwayegi
ladke mahan he

Snta-Dr Ne Kaha Tha K TV Cabel Se Bache Kharab Hote Hai Aur Padhai B Nai Krte, Maine Cabel Katwa Dia

Bnta-Good

S-Ab Maine Dish TV Laga Liya Hai

banta..... duniya ka sabse khatarnak jaadu kaha hota hai.....?

santa... beauty parlour main

jyotish-35 ki umar tak tumhare paas paisa nahi hoga aur tum dukhi rahoge
Santa-Uske baad?
Jyotish-Phir tumhe aise jeene ki aadat pad jayegi.

Maa:Beta Tum Lambe-Lambe Baal Katwa Lo
Beta:Kyon?
Maa:Log Rishtey Ke Liye Tumhari Bahan Ko Dekhne Aate Hai Aur Pasand Tuhme Kar k Jaate Hai

Santa = yar banta teri shakal gadhe jaisi lagti hai.

Banta = Ek baat bta main kis angle se tere jaisa lagta hu ?

Bhikhari-10rs.dedo mobil rechrge krke grlfrd ko cal krna hai,
santa-WAH!! bhikhari ne bi grlfrd banayi h
Bhikhri-Naji..grlfrnd ne bhikhari banaya h..