Jokes | चुटकुले

Taxi mai bethe huye Passenger ne driver se kaha: Mujhe Taxi mai bethne par Eik he bat ki fikar hoti hai woh hain Brakes..
Driver: Apko ghabrane ki zroorat nahi, is mai brakes hain hi nahi..

School Me Aag Lag Gyi
Sb Bache Khush Thay K Ab Skul Nhi Aana Padega Pr 1 Bacha Udaas Tha
Sir-BetaWhy R U Sad?
Bacha-Sir Ap Zinda Kaise Bache

ramesh: tum mujhe meri shadi me akela mat chodna. suresh: nahi chodunga main tumhe akela musibat mein kaise chod sakta hoon.

Jo dusro ki madat karta hai uski madat bhagwan karta hai.

Newly invented:
Jo kisi ki madat nhi karta uski madat Google karta H.

Ultimate logic of Santa
Banta: What is the opposite of 'Achaar'?
Santa: Onion.
Banta: How?
Achaar = Pickle = Pee+kal. So opposite of 'Pee+kal' is 'Pee+aaj' = Onion.

BOY:- Bada muskil hai 'TEACHER' SE pyar karna...
frnd:- KYOn??
BOY:- loveletter bheja tha... 7 mistek nikal de....

Ek baar santa sharab ke nashe mein ek moti suri ke upar ja gira aur uski puchh(tail)pakar kar bola.Mere 3 bachho ki amma roz do chotiyan banati thi aaj 1 choti kis khushi mein bana li?

THE FACT...
Dentist to Manmohan Singh during annual check-up..
'Mr.PM,at least in my clinic,plz open yr mouth'..hehee

GF-Me Tumre Leters K Stamp Tickts Ko KISS Krti Hu,Unhe Tumhre Lips Ne Chua Hoga
BF-Pr Me To Unhe Apne Kut.te Ki Naak Se Gila Kr K Chipkata Tha:

Raju: jab main mar jaaoon to samne waali family ko zaroor bulana. Pappu: kyun? Raju: yaar unke ghar ki ladies murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain.

Cat:hw old r u?
Elpnt:5 yrs.
Cat: U luk big.
Elpnt: i m a COMPLAN BOY
cat: i m 20yrs
Elpnt: But u luk small
Cat: PONDS MIRACLE,
BADHTI UMAR MANO THAM SI JAYE...

Judge-Kya proof hai k tum car speed me nahi chala rahe the?
Man-Sir,main apni wife ko lene sasural jaa raha tha...
u know..
Judge was convinced...

Teacher: Yeh kis ka sign hai? '@@@@@@'
Student: Meri mummy ke.
Teacher aisa kaisa naam hai?
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Student : Jalebi

Dunia Mai Sab Se Dukhi Aadmi Kon Hai?
Panipuri Wala !
Kaise?
Kyu Ki Ladki Kuwari Ho Ya Married 'BHAIYA' Hi Bulati He.

Air Hostess: Kya lenge?

Ismail Bhai: Chiken tikka, boti kabab, biryani, fish fry, kheer, ice cream and pan

Sir aap plane mein aye hai aap k abba k reception me nahi..

toofaan me ek macchar udte hue ek nariyal ped pe chappak gaya...
jab toofaan tham gaya toh macchar pasina poch kr kahta hai
'uf aaj main nahi rahta toh is ped ka kya hota?'

A Good Teacher Is Who
Tells To Study Hard...

But,,

A Best Teacher Is Who
Stands 0utside D
Examination Hall N Shouts. . .

'OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE
APNI APNI PARCHIY CHUPA LO..

'Classic'

1st Dost: Me Aisa Kia Kron
k Teri Shaadi k Baad Me
Teri Biwi Ko Cinema Le Kr
Jao'n Aur Tu Naraz Bhi Na
Ho ...

2nd Dost: Meri Shaadi Apni
Behen Se Kra De .

ladka-jaanu mai tuhe subha se shaam tak shaam se subha tak pyaar karunga...
girl-to jaanu fir mai potty krne kab jaungi?????????

Jethalal-Agr meri shadi meri marji se hoti
Wah-wah
Agr meri shadi meri marji se hoti
Wah-wah
To TAPUDA teri mummy DAYA nhi BABITA hoti..

Teacher:
Snta Tumhari Attendance Bohat Kam He,
Tum Exam Me Nahi Baith Paaoge.

Bnta:
Koi Baat Nahi Mera Bhai Khade Khade Exam De Dega.

girl to baba-if i kiss a boy to kya hoga?baba-nark may javogi. girl- acha agar main aap ko kiss karu tho? baba-chalak ladki swarg may jana chahti hai

Santa begum k liye Chhapal lene gaya
Dukandar:Santa ji size to batao
Santa:Yaar wo to mai bhul gaya
aisa karo mere kamar pe nisan dekhlo

Kanjus-KajuKatli Aur Lijiye Na
Mehman-Nai Shukriya Me Pehle Hi 4 Le Chuka Hu
Kanjus-Li To Apne Waise 6 He,Lekin Kher Yaha Kaun Gin Raha He......JSK

Premika:Kya Baat Hai?Bahut Udas Lag Rahe Ho?
Premi:Maine Abhi Bhaut Hi Karunamay Book Padhi He
Prmk:Kaunsi Book?
Premi:Bank Ki Pass Book.

Agar Marvadi Girls Papita beche to Hum Ladko ko Bhot Fayda hoga.
?

Kyuki Ladkio ko ye aawaz lagani Hogi-
Pappi to le lo
Pappi to le lo

1 Dafa 1 Chor Ne Apni Mangetar Ko Sonay Ka Set
Dia.

Mangetar Ne Khush Ho K Pocha Is Ki Keemat Kia H

Chor:Teen Sal ki Qaid

Kashmir ki Wadiyon me
Barfili hawaon main
jhil k kinare bethe
RANJHA ko
HEER ne kia kaha??
?

'ULLU K PATHE'
HERO mat bn
Sweater Pehen Le

Pati: Khana taiyar h?
Wife: thodi der aur
p:Thik h me bahr kha leta hu
W: 5 min ruko
P:5min me taiyar ho jayga
w: nahi me tiyar ho jati hu..

patrol ke RATE badne ke baad-
santa bike leke Patrol pump gaya.

salesman- kitne ka dalu?

santa- 10rs ka bike ke upar spray kar de... aag lagani hai!!

Adhikari-Mantriji,Baadh Ka Pani Khatre K Nishan Ko Chhu Rha H,Kya Kare?

Mantri:Khatre K Nishan Ko 3 Feet Or Upar Kar Do

Girl to Shopkeeper:
Bhaiya Calculator Dihkao..
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Shopkeeper:
CASIO.....???
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Girl:
Main theek hu, Aap sunao... :P