Jokes | चुटकुले

Gaon mai bijli aayegi sun kar logo ke saath kutte bhi
khush hue. Bole, 'bijli aayegi toh khumba bhi lagega'

ek sundar Beautiful cute Ladki-girl yadi roz subah sair karati hai to 10 ladke nirog rah sakate hain.

Bigg Boss 10 ki Grand Success ke baad
Bigg Boss Alaan karte hai-
Bigg Boss 11 me bhi shawmi Jee to contestant Rakha jayega..
Afer That Bigg Boss 11 - Received not a single contestant to participate....

1 ladke Ne Radio Mirchi Pe Call Kiya-
Ladka : Mujhe 1 Purse Mila Hai, Jisme 10,000 Cash, iPhone-7,
1 Credit Card Aur Sonam Ke Naam Ka Id Mila Hai.
Radio RJ: Wah… Aap Kitne Honest Hain.
Kya Aap Unhe Wo Purse Waapis Karna Chahenge.?
Ladka : Nahi!!Nahi!! Main Chahta Hu Ki Sonam Jee Ke Liye,
Ek Dard Bhara Song Ho Jaaye.....very very sad song aur
1 mast fresh sms love jokes suna dijiye

While Talking over Whatsapp:
Boy: Hi are you single?
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Boy: I have an Audi.
Girl: Ex* boyfriend. Sorry, that was an autocorrect.
Boy: Datsun GO. Sorry, mine was too!

1 baar Pappu train mein safar kar raha tha.
Train mein bahut bheed hone ke karan Pappu ek ganje adami ke seat par baith gaya.
Adami jhunjhala kar bola, 'haan-haan, mere sir par aa kar baith ja.'
Pappu: nahin Uncle main yaheen theek hoon, wahaan se phisalane ka dar hai!

Madam- sab bachchon se poochhti hai: batao sabase jyaada baarish kahaan par padtee hai.
Santa: zameen par.

Jeeto- Ye kamre ki etni gandi halat kyo bane hai?
Papu- Mai Acting ki Practice karta hu
Jeeto- Kese acting?
Papu- Man vs Wild

Teacher- Dunia ke ese 2 prani ka naam bato jis thand nahi lagti hai
Papu- Pahla Penguins aur dusra shaadi aae Ladki-Aurat

Preeto-tum to padhne me bade hoshiyaar ho to phir Tution ki kaya jrurat hai?
Papu-Maa tum bhi to ghar ka kaam karne me hoshiyaar to phir kaamwali rakhne ki kaya jrurat hai?
Phir kaya...de chappal....de chappal

Mini- kaya kha rahe ho yaar?
Santa- Mungphali kha raha hu
Mini- akle akle?
Santa- oye 10 Mungphali ki me langar lagau kya?

Teacher-A B C D Sunao
Papu- A B C D E F G H I J K L N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher- P M kaha gaya?
Papu- Foreign Tour pe

Bus running,
Jhatka laga,
1 ladka 1 ladki pe ja gira
Ladki boli batameez;
Kya kar rahe ho…?
Ladka bola…
University se B.A kar raha hoon. !

The world is here at, Sh@rd@ University..
Where r u??
At a better university.

2 cockroach ICU me
Ek dusre ke bagal me bed par jkhmi halat me admit the
Ek ne dusre se poocha- Hit or chappal
Dusre ne jabab diya nahi yaar
Ye ladkiya bhi dekh kaar etti chillati hai..
ki heart attack aa gaya...

New teacher joined in d school
Teacher- boys tell your names nd hobbies
1st boy- My name is Raj. My hobby is watching Moon .
2nd boy- My name is Ranjeet. And my hobby is watching Moon .
3rd boy- My name is Ravi & hobby is watching Moon .
Teacher- wow nice nice
Everyones hobbies are same Ok
Now girls turn...
1st girl- Hello mam my name is moon
Teacher shocked....Boys rocked

Pyar mein kabhi kabhi aisa ho jaata hai
girlfriend ne shaadi se enkaar kaar diya
Socha dil diya hai aab jaan bhi denge sanam
pr kamine dosto ne daru pilaa ke usi ke baaraat me
nchwaa diya...

Majburiya hoti hai sirf mahaan logo ke Jeevan Mein
Nahi to Ram Vanvaas Mein
Krishna karaavaas Mein
aur
Mai office Mein kyo baithta...

Seriously First time in Indian History
Latest funny event occoured Friends...
Perrol is cheaper then Onions in India
Petrol Payaaj se sastaa ho gaya...

Kaal ek relative ke ghar jaana hai
samgh nahi aa raha hai sweets lekar jau ya payaaj

Papa: Bolo beta
Girl: Mai ek ladke se pyaar karti hoon aur woh America mein rehta hai
Papa: Lekin tum is se kaha mili
Girl: Google+ par hamari mulakaat hui
FACEBOOK par hum Friends bane
Gtalk par usne mujhe 'I love you' kaha
aur WHATSAPP par humne 3 mahino tak pyaar kiya.
Papa : Ohh!! Really..
Toh ab TWITTER mein shaadi karlo
MAKE MY TRIP se honeymoon mana lo
FLIPKART se bache mangwalo
GMAIL se recieve karlo
Aur finally agar pati pasand nahi aaye toh ..
OLX be bech dalo!!!!!!!
Dont laugh alone, pass it on

Mom: Sofa letne ke liye nahi hota baithne ke liye hota hai
Son: Ha toh Chappal bhi maarne k liye nahi pehen ne ke liye hoti hai..
Ek chappl aur padi..

Umar ki raah mein JAZBAAT badal jate hai,
Waqt ki AAndhi me HALLAT badal jaate hai,
Sochta hoon kaam kar kar ke Record tod dun,
Lekin kambhakt salary dekhte he KHAYAAL badal jaate hai..

Doctor ne udaas hokar kaha- Aapki Biwi ab sirf do dino ki mehman hai.
I’m so sorry…
Santa: Isme sorry ki koi baat hai Dr. Saab.
Nikaal lenge ye do din bhi jaise-taise…
Aage to moaj masti me jeena hai..Jeevan ras peena.. hai

Santa Banta se bola “Bhai aaj to chay peene ka maza aa gaya.”
Banta : Santa Jee, agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi
maza aata!!!

Har gum ko pala nai jata,
Kanch ki chizo ko uchala nai jata,
Kuch karna hi to mehnat karo yaro,
Har baat ko “All is WELL” bolke tala nahi jata

Stadium Indian Pakistan cricket match chal raha tha
1 Gorgeous ladki ne hoto par “India” ke tirange
ka
tattoo laga rakha tha Ek ladka aaya aur hoto
par “kiss” kar gaya aur bola, “I LOVE MY INDIA

Nepali : Saab ye shaam singh ka mobile kaha milega
Salesman : Pata nahi
Nepali : Saab ji TV me ad to isi dukan ka hai.
Salesman : Abey ye sham singh nahi, SAMSUNG hai!!

New way of writting answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for ANSWERS”

Interviewer: What drives you?
Candidate: The bus mostly.
Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?
Candidate: Missing the bus!

Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola
“Beta tum bahut padhoge”
Ladka : Saale padh to mein 4 saal se raha hu,
ye bata paas kab hounga??

Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan
kahan se aaya?
Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar.
Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.