Jokes | चुटकुले

Doctor: Tell ur husband that u r pregnant. Girl: But iam unmarried.
Doctor: Then inform ur boyfriend. Girl: I don't have any. Dr: Then tell ur mom that Jesus is coming again..

Banta: What's the difference between Pollution and Solution?
Santa: If a politician drowns in a river it's Pollution, and if all of them drown then it's a Solution!

Santa: You will never succeed, in making that dog obey you.
Jeeto: Nonsense it's only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first

A Conducter Kised A Girl In His Bus...
Police Took The Conducter 2 Jail....
And Gave Him Electric Shocks ......
But It Had No Efect!
Why ?
...
B'coz He Was A
'BAD CONDUCTOR'
Its Physics Friends....

Wen I send u good jokes, msg It doesnt mean u have 2 do da same…
U can also send cash, fruits, tea, petrol, pizza, chicken, cold drink & other GIFTS
……. so start TODAY!!!!

Strong Bonding Doesn’t Need SMS Or Calls
As Respect Lives In Heart
True Relation Never Departs
O Hello!
Sab Bakwas Hai
Roz SMS - Jokes Aa Jane Chahiye

Girlfriend : I Cheated U
Boyfriend: So What Do U Think … I Love U ? ?
I Was Also Cheating U For Past 2 Yrs . . .
Girl Cried n Said: I Was Talking About Exams
Boy: Ooops Oh teri ki :

I asked my Heart: Why cant I sleep at Night?
My Heart said: Bcoz u slept in the Afternoon…
Dont act like u r in Love

Machar ka Bacha Pehle Baar uraa jab woh wapis aaya
tou us k baap ne Poocha 'Kaisa Laga Ur k??'
Machar Bola .. ' Bohat Maza Aaya, logo ko taliya bjate hue dekh kar'

A- Apple B- Bluetooth C- Chat D- Download E- Email F- Facebook G- Google H- HewlettPac kard I- Iphone J- Java K- Kingston L- Laptop M- Messenger N- Norton O- Orkut P- Picasa Q- Quicktime R- RAM S- Server T- TouchScreen U- Usb V- Vista W- WiFi X- XP Y- YouTube Z- Zorpia. Thank God A is still Apple

Kamaata nahin hun itni ke tujhe roze khilaoon
Aaati hai to aaa ja, ya kisi aur ko pataooon

Gul gaya, Gulshan gaya, Gaye honthon ki laaali
Ab to peeecha chor de, main ho gaye bachchon waali

A boy romantically to his girlfriend: I can see d whole world in ur eyes....:)
A passerby listens n says: Peera garhi chowk pe kitna traffic hai zara dekhna..

Washing Powder Nirma Washing Powder Nirma Doodh si Safedi Nirma se Aaye Rangeen Kapra Bhi Khil Khil Jaye Sabki Pasand Nirma.Kuch Bhi Bhejo, Log Parhte Zarur Hain, Wo Bhi Tune k Saath.

Bhagvaan ne badi mehanat kar Maa banai,
Shaitaan ne bhi socha kuchh banaen,
to phir usane Saasu Maa banai.

Happu- Pak terrorist 'Ae Dil Hai Mushkil' Movie dekh rahe hai
Pappu- Wo kyo Yaar?
Happu- Kyoki Indian Army ne Surgical strike se Pak terrorist ke liye 'Home Delivery' bhi dene Shuru kar di hai na

Abhishek: Papa kaun si Hindi Movie dekhne chaahie,
Hrithik ki 'Kaabil' ya SRK ki 'Raees'? Amitaabh: donon. Abhishek: kyon? Amitaabh: kyonki na hi tum kaabil na hi Raees!....

RBI vaale nae note par itana aur likh
Dete ki 'kashmir Bhaarat ka hai' to
Padosi Desh kabhi nakali note hi nahi chhaapata.
par hamase koi poochhata kahaan hai!

Dukaandaar :- ye Mobile le lo isme '3 GB' RAM hai......
-
Owaisi :- nahin nahin, hamen vo Mobile dikhao jisamen 'RAM' nahi Allaah ho ..
-
Dukaandaar: Kaya bewakoof wali baat kar rahe hai, bina
'RAM' ke duniya nahi chalti to Mobile Phone kaise chalega.

Arz Kiya hai Jio ko bhi nazar lag gayi Airtel, Idea Ki Ji-
Acha Khasa free 3G, 4G to Paid kar diya
Aasmaan mai Udte Aazad Parindo ko kaid kar diya

Name of Courts in ascending order :
1. Sub Judge
2. CJM Court
3. Session Court
3. High Court
4. Supreme Court
5. International Court of Justice
6. God
7. Arnab Goswami
8. Mother in law
9. Wife .......
10. News Channel .......interesting jokes

Bhagvaan ne har Man/Boys ko
alag alag(Different) aur alag Soch banaaya hai,
Lekin jab Girls/Women baari aai vah thak chuka
tha aur Copy-Paste, Copy-Paste karake
sabako nipata diya aur sab ek hi soch wala bana diya

Love is like Bus traveling and wedding or marriage is just like plane traveling.
When you do not want travel more or anytime you can steps down from Bus but Not from a Aeroplane

Hajj aur Ganga Snaan to gareebon ka Nazariya hai. varana Ameeron Raees ke paap to High Court and Supreme Court dhota hai.

whatsapp ka bhi Driving License hona chaahie,
kuchh log andha-dhundh chala rahe hain.

Santa ki taangen neeli pad gaeen.
Doctor -“jahar hai...kaatani padengeen !”
.
taangen kaatakar nakali laga di gaeen.
do din baad nakli taangen bhi neeli pad gaeen.
.
Doctor – “ab beemaari samajh mein aai...jeens rang chhodati hai!”

ab to khair log itana nahin rote varana...
pahale log lanaki ki vidai ke vakt itana rote the
ki
..
.
dulha bhi kah deta tha rakh lo bhai... nahin chaahie

Badi bahu Bsnl, shaant swbhaav, hamesha ghoonghat(Slow network) odhe rahti thi
baad mein doosari bahuen aaeen, Fast & Smart Laalpari si Airtel...
aur 1 idea jo duniya badal dene vaali Modern bahu Idea aai.
gori-chitti videshi Mem Vodafone bhi aai bahu banakar .
jaise taise sab apane apane patnidharm(network+Data) nibha rahi thi .......
kahaan se ye latake jhatake dikhaati, balakhaati, sabake
hosh udaati Jio (Free call, free Data) aa gai, jo sautan banakar saari
bahuon ka jeena haraam kar rahi hai

santa ped par ulte latake hue tha,
banta ne poochha – kya ho gaya?
santa- kuchh nahin, sir dard kee golee
khaee hai, kaheen pet mein na chalee jae.!!!

Alia Reads In Newspaper
Police Caught 80 Kg Heroin!.
.
.
.
.
Alia Shit Yaar
Sonakshi Ko Kyoun Pakda.

Purushon ko ghabaraane ki koi jaroorat
nahin hai,
gold rakhane par limit lagi hai..
gold phlek rakhane par nahin..

Mai bank mein purana note badalavaane gaya tha bank ke
Clerk ne poochha : khaata hai ?
Maine kaha haan...peeta bhi hoon .
Clerk na jaane kyo naaraaj ho gaya.