Jokes | चुटकुले

2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.

Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.

Faqir: mera number le lo, jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.

DOCTOR: Bachay 2 hi ache..
Vaise aap k kitne bache hain?

LADY: Pehle to 2 hi thay lekin jab se ishtehar dekha hai to ache ki talash me 10 ho gaye hain. ;-)

Old Man-'putar ander se mere daant le aa'

Pota-'par dada ji abhi roti to bani nahi'

Budda-- 'o nahi putar roti nahi khani samne wali buddi nu smile deni a '

Judge: Tum ne ek hi raat mein 7 jagah chori ki ?

Chor: Haan Sahib, Mai mehnat se gi nahi churata.

namaskar ye male female janch sewa hai, agar aap purush hai to 1 sms karo, mahila hai to 2 sms karo, inme se kuch nahi hai to sms na kare, hum khud smajh lenge.

Teacher:' What is your name?'.
Student: ' Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'

Teacher:' When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student:' My name is Sunlight

Machar aur Makhiki ho gayi shadi.
Pehli hi raat se ho gayi machar ki barbadi,
kehta hai ki meri kismat hi khoti hai,
makhi raat ko goodnight lagake soti hai.

Boss : I am giving you a job as a driver. The STARTING salary is Rs.2000 /-, is it o.k.

Santa : You are great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......

But?? how much is the DRIVING salary...?

Beta: baap idhar aa
Baap: beta papa ko aise nahi bolte
Beta: to kaise bolte hai
Baap: izzat se
Beta: baap izzat se idhar aa

Question: Bahooo aik gear marad ke sath sari raat ghar se bahar rahi, aur saas ne kuch nahi kaha, Kyon?

Ans: Kyon ki saas bi kabhi bahoo thi !

Dil ke dardko jubape mat lana, apni ankhose ansu mat bahana, jakham chahe kitne bhi gahare ho, 'DETTOL' k siva kuch mat lagana...

Dost: 'Tumhari toh RAM - SITA ki jodi lagti hai'

Man:'Bilkul Galat hai:

Naa to koi meri biwi ko utha ke le jaata hai, Naa hi ye dharti me samaati hai!

A Couple was sitng in garden,
Sudnly a Dog & Bitch came n kiss each other!

Boy - Janu aagar tum bura na mano to mai bhi.
Grl - Ok pr plz sambhl kar,
Kutiya tumhe kat na le! '

Sardar looked at himself in mirror and said:
Is ko kahain dekha hai. Then he said:

Oye yaad aya, ye to woh he kamina hai jo
Shaadi ki album main meri biwi k saath hai

1 lerki ne molvi se keha: Log mujhe chedte or ghoorte hain, aap hi bataein mai kya karu..?

Molvi ne dono bazu phailaa k kaha 'Aap hamari agosh ma aajaeye'

Wife mere iraday baray neek hain, aap 1000 mai ek hain.

Sardar: mera dimag bara taiz hai, pehlay ye bata baki 999 kon hai?

dharmendr got a new vodafone conection but never got network.... why?
bcoz vodafone dog stillremembar his dilogue :kutte mai tera khoon pi jauga,

Train mai ek husband apni wife say: 'tujh say shadi kar k pachta raha hoon.'

'dil karta hai tujhe kutttay k aagay daal doon'

Samnay wala passenger bola: 'bhao bhao'

1 ladki ne coin dalke apna vajan dekha,58kg
Sandal utari,56kg
Jacket utari,53kg
Fir duppata, 52kg or coin khatam
1 bhikari bola tu chalu rakh sikke me dalunga!

Ek baar sardar ji kahain jaa rahe tahe k ek diwar par padha 'padhne wala gadha'

Sardar ko bohat ghussa aya, unhon ne mita kar likh diya! 'likhne wala gadha'

Santa: Why do girls look beautiful? Is it real or due to make up? Banta: All false. Girls look beautiful because boys have good imagination.

Banta: Wife agar husband ko naukar samjhe to husband ko kya karna chahiye?
Santa: Zyada kuch nahi, do char ghar aur pakad lene chahiye.

Agar basanti ki mausi takhur ko rakhi bandey tho

tho mausi ka takhur se kya rishta hoga

free mey dimag mat lagao yaar takhur ke hath he nahi hai

1 ladki ne coin dalke apna vajan dekha,58kg
Sandal utari,56kg
Jacket utari,53kg
Fir duppata, 52kg or coin khatam
1 bhikari bola tu chalu rakh sikke me dalunga

Santa: Why do girls look beautiful? Is it real or due to make up? Banta: All false. Girls look beautiful because boys have good imagination.

2 boys follow 2 girls
The grls turned back and tied rakhi to each of them.




then the boys said 2 themselves u marry ur sister and i'll marry ur sister!

Agar basanti ki mausi takhur ko rakhi bandey tho

tho mauki ka takhur se kya rishta hoga

free mey dimag mat lagao yaar takhur ke hath he nahi hai

Banta: Wife agar husband ko naukar samjhe to husband ko kya karna chahiye?
Santa: Zyada kuch nahi, do char ghar aur pakad lene chahiye.

Jeeto: Sharm ani chahiye, tumhare Preeto se sambhand hai.
Santa: Sorry, par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Jeeto: Kal Banta aya tha usne tumhara Underwear pahena hua tha.

Santa: I've Been Sending E-mails To William Shakespare...

Banta: William Shakespare Is Dead, Stupid...

Santa: No Wonder He Hasn't Replied As Well

santa : main ek bar bathroom me susu karne gaya to waha sher tha banta: phir kya hua??
santa: maine sher ko kaha app kar lo mera to nikal gaya.....

Patni - College ke bare me tumhara koi katu anubhav hai?

Pati - Han, Tumhari aur meri paheli mulakat college me he to
hui th