Jokes | चुटकुले

Waiter: Khan sahb, 10 Rs tip to meri insult hy..

Khan: To phir..?

Waiter: 20 Rs to hon..

Khan: Main tumhari double insult nhi kr skta..!!

Munnabhai: Circuit ye sonu kaun hai?

Circuit:Bhai mast ladka he bole to A un kanjuso ko Bhi SMS bhejta hai jo ise nahi
Bhejte.

Teacher, gul khan tum class mein topi kiun phan kar aay ho


Gul khan, teacher kisi ko pata na chalay kay mery dimag mein kia chal raha hai...=P;-)

Santa Ka Darwaza Zor Se Baja.
Wo Ghusse Se Darwaze Pr Gaya Aur Bola:
'Kon Gadhe Ka Bacha Hai?
Bahar Se Aawaz Aai:..
Papa Mai Hu. :-)

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?


Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.



Banta: Isn't it too high?



Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

A Pathan teacher gives dictation test to students,

Last bench students:

We are not able to hear you SIR,


Pathan : 'OK I'LL WRITE ON THE BOARD .,..,..,..,!

1 Admi ne 1 udas pathan se pocha:
Khan sahab ap q udas hai?
Pathan: aj hum ko
N.W.F.P ka Mutlab pata chal gaya
Admi: wo kiya??
Udas Pathan
“NO WOMEN FOR PATHAN”

Bhikari:
ALLAH k nam pr kch de do.

Pathan 100 ka note dikhaty huy bola:
kia tmhary pas 50 hai?

Bhikari:
khushi se g hain
Pathan:
to kocha pehlay wo kharch kr

Pathan raat ko Machardani laga kar
so raha tha:

Achanak ek Jugnoo aa nikla.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Lo ye khocha machar humko
Torch le kar dondh raha hai.

Boy: Darling Humare Pyaar k bare me kisi ko mat batana, Girl: Priya ko to zaroor bataungi,kehti thi kon pagal hoga jo tujhse Pyaar krega!

Teacher:me ksi pe 1 nazar dal k bta skte hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha he
Student:mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na.

har kadam par koi katil hai kahan jai koi zinda rahna bada mushkil hai kahan jai koi
ans.jahannum me koi pareshan nahi karta

Sharma dial a no. & hear, iss call ke liye aapka balance kafi nahi hai.'


sharma: koi baat nahi jaane man tumse baat ho gai bas itna hi kafi hai.

Employee-
' boss meri shadi ho gayi,meri salary bhada do'

Boss-
'factory ke bahar hone wale hadso ke liye company zimedar nahi hoti'

sonu-yaar,maine gf ko sms kiya ki main raat ko aaunga...raat me geya to wo kisi aur k sath thi
monu man chota mat kar yaar msg nhi mila hoga

father-beta tumne college me sabse mushkil kaam koun sa sikha?
beta-2 kaam sikhe.
1 danto se bear ki bottal kholna.
2 tez aandi me 1 tilli se cigerete jalana

Aniversary Par Santa Apni Biwi K Liye Gulab Ka Phul Le Kar Aya

Biwi:Muje Yeh Nahi Chahiye

Koi Sone Ki Cheez Do

Santa:Ye Le Takiya Aur So ja.

teacher ne bachhe ki copy par note likha kripya bachhe ko nahalakar bheja kare.
bachhe ki mom ne note padne ke bad likha kar bheja bachhe ko padaya kare sungha na kare

LADKI ne
Ghar choda
Sasural mila.

Bhai choda,
Dever mila.

Bahan chodi,
Nanad mili.

Maa-baap chode,
Sas-Ssur mile.

KYA Choda
JO PATI mila????;-)

Tcher 2 Student: Beta Ans sheet par sabse phle kya likhna chahiye.? Student: IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GYE ANS KALPNIK HAI JINKA KISI B BOOK SE KOI SMBANDH Nhi HAI..!

ragging ke waqt ladko ne 1 ladki se kaha,1 sawal ka jawab do-patna kahan par hai?
ladki-bihar mein
boys-yahin pat jao itne dur jaane ki kya jarurat hai....!

Santa ka baap UK se aya,usne pucha teri ma kaha ha santa bola wo to mar gai
bap bola saale tune mujhe bataya kyu ni
santa:

Maine socha surprise dunga.

Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shadi-suda tha

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k talak lene ke liye kia sharayat lazmi hoti hain ? Wakil Bola “Talak lene ke liye aap ko shadi shuda hona zarori hai”

Sir: Wo Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole Jate Hain ?
STUDENT: Mujhe Nahi Pata….
Sir: Shaabash Beta, Baith Jao..!

Ho gai Karachi University mein Faraz ki pitai,

Kyun k relly thi jamiat ki aur wo keh raha tha

Altaf Bahi...
Altaf Bhai... =P ;)

Teacher: Ek Saal Main Kitni Raatain Hoti Hai?
Aman :10 Raatain Hoti Hai!
Teacher: 10 Raatain Kaise ?
Aman: 9 Navaratri Aur 1 Shivratri….

Nokrani:Maalkin apki purani sarhee muje nai chaiye.

Malkin: Kyun?

Nokrani:Apki saree pehenne k bad sahab

'Aap'Ko samajh k mere paas b nai aate.

7-chatai par 7-sadhu bethe the,
1 Aadmi ne sbse bade sadhu se
pucha-'Baba Ladkiya line nhi
deti ky karu?
Sadhu(chote sadhu se )- 1 chatai
aur laga bhai ke liye

PATHAN naqli note lekar shop pr surf lene gaya,

SHOP KEEPER: is mein quaid-e-Azam ki topi nahi hai

PATHAN:topi meili pari hai usi k liye to surf lene aya hon.