Jokes | चुटकुले

Teacher To GOLU:Mamooli Ko Jumle Me Istemaal Karo
GOLU Ne Socha

Socha

Socha

Aur Bola,Meri Maa Mooli Bade Shouk Se Khat

1980
Enginr sahb ka ghr konsa h?
wo jo bada bngla h,wo'
2010 'xcuse me,
yha engineer ka ghr konsa h?
'abey kisi b ghr me ghus ja. ek na 1 to hoga

Teacher -Past, present, future ka 1 example main deti hu Or 1 tum do
Techer-mai sunder thi, hu, aur rahungi
Student-Apko veham tha, hai Or rahega

2 makhkhiya movie dekh kar nikli
To ek makhkhi ne doosri makhkhi se kaha




'PAIDAL CHALEGI YA KUTTA KAR LE'

Vakil- Paaglo Ka Anubhavi!

Talkies- Premiyo Ki Paryogshala!

Saas- Bahu Ki C.I.D.

Shaadi- Berozgar Yuvao Ki Barbaadi

UPDESH:
Daru pine se jindagi k problem solve nhi hoti.

EXPERT DRINKER'S ADVICE:
Problem toh doodh pine se bhi solve nhi hoti..

Madam to santa-Translate it to eng'Mere sir de Baal,Uud gaye hawa de naal' Santa's rply -'Hair of your tind ..Have gone with the wind ..Ting ting teeding'

GIRL-kya tm mjsepyar krte ho?
golu-ha
grl-lekin tm to meri parwah nhi krte
golu-oye...pyar krnewale kisi ki parwah nhi krte

Teacher-Batao sabse zyada nasha kaunsi cheez me hota hai? Students-Books me.. Teacher-Wo kaise? Student-Kholte hi nind aa jati hai..!Gnt

santa ne ekk admi ke thappad maar diya..
admi- meri kya galti thi??
santa-tum salo galti karo iske liye hum intjaar thode hi karenge.............

Who's d 1st Indian cricktr 2 bcum Captn in his 1st match,scord 100 in d same match n hit a 6 of last bal 2 defeat England?
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Aamir Khan In Lagaan.

Kaani Wife:- Suno ji meri aankhen Katrina se milti hai na? ?

Pati:-Kambakht,teri aankhen aapas me nahi milti, Katrina se kya khak milegi

Kanjus Aadmi-Bagal Wale Ghar Se Iodex Le Kar Aao
Wife-Wo Log Nahi Denge
Aadmi-Kite Kanjus Hai Wo Log...
Jane Do Humara Hi Lekar Aao..

Mariz- Doctor Sahab Sirf Aap Hi Meri Help Kar Sakte Ho..

..Koi Bhi Meri Baat Nahi Sunta Meri Taraf Dhyan Hi Nahi Deta

Doctor- Next Please..

Baap ne Bete ki Talashi Li, Cigrate, Masala,Daru ki Botal or Ladkiyo k Mbl no. Nikle.Baap ne Bahut Mara-Kbse Chal Rha h Sb?Beta Rote Hue-Papa Ye Jacket Apka hai

Select One No.Then
I'll Tell You Apka Dimag Kis Trah Ka He

A B C D M N R U

Ans
Apke Dimagh Me Kide H
QK Apko No. Or Alphabets Ki Pehchan Nai

SANTA: Mere Nana ne mujhse choti si baat par rishta tod diya..
BANTA: Kyun.Kya kha unhone.?
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Unhone kaha..
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Moongphali me dana nhi Hum tumhare Nana Nhi..

GOLU:sir, mujhe is subject me 0 mark nahi milne chahiye the!

Sir: mujhe yahi lagta he beta,par me isse kam nahi de sakta

Mahatma gandhi ne shadi se pehle apni wife kasturba gandhi ko letter likha: DEAR KASTURBA, I LOVE YOU . TUMHARA 'BAPU'.

Bacha:Daddy Aaj Kal ki Aurto Par Yaqeen Nai Krna Chahiye
Baap:Q
Bacha:Kal Techr Keh Rahi Thi 3 or 3
6 Hote He
Or
Aaj Bolti he 4 or 2
6 Hote He

Santa ne apne 6 month k baby ki birthday party arrange kr li,

Kisi ne pucha:
6 month k baby ka brthday kese?

Santa: hum semester system ko follow karte h.

Police Man: Stop, Stop
Tumhari Headlights kaam Nahi kar rahi
Woh bandh hai

GOLU:Jaldi Se Hat Jao
Brakes Bhi Kaam Nahi Kar Rahe Hain

Teacher-BAtaAo 80+90=?
Santa-100!
Teachr-No,
80+90=170..
Santa-Par sir Bachpan Se Humne Suna H ki
'Akkad Bakkad bambey bo, 80-90 purey 100'..!!

1ST PATHAN:
Oye Agar Raat Ko Neend Na Aaye
Tu Kya Kiya Jaye..?

2ND PATHAN:
0 Yara Neend Ka Intzar
Karne Se Tu Behtar Hai
Aadmi So Jaye..

One person :-CA karne me kitna kharch aata hai
CA Student:-Paise to bahut kam kharch hote hai bhai, par JAWANI puri kharch ho jaati he

Wakeel: Tum ne Police Officer ki hatheli pe jalti hue cigret kyun rakhi

Mujrim:Ye Humko bola 'kaam karvana hai to pehle 'MUTTHI' garam kro

GOLU:Meri billi mar gai
MOLU:kese mari
GOLU :Maine use nahala diya tha
M- nahalne se b kahi billi marti h
G-Maine nahalane k bad use nichod b thi

Customar (hotel manger se-subah ke waqt mai baid pe breajfast lena pasnd krta hu
Manegar-no problam lekin apko apna bed neche restra me lana hoga

Boy-I Love U
Girl-Sorry.. Muje Dusra Pasand H, Uski BMW Hai

Boy-Are Maine Aj 10kg 'PYAAZ' Kharide He

Girl-Ohh.. Sorry Dear
I LOVE YOU TOO !:-)

FaQeer:Ek rupay de do.
Lady: Sharam nhi aati itne smart handsome nojawan ho k bheek mangte ho!



FaQer:Acha janab phir 1 pappi hi dy do.

Ek Bachey Ko Exam Me Koi Sawal Nahi Aata Tha

Bachey Ne Hr Ques K Neche

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Es Tarha Ki Lines Laga Kar Neche Likh Diya.

Scratch Kar K Answer Parh Lo.

Teachar-'mai teri jaan nikal dungi' ka future tense kya hoga?

Student- tu, saali hath laga ke to dikha..

Fir batata hu tera future kya hoga